Much Muchier

I was getting a little depressed. The world had pinned me down and was kicking me in the balls with golf spikes on. I had this line from Tim Burton's version of Alice In Wonderland running in my mind on endless loop: "You're not the same as you were before. You used to be much muchier. You've lost your muchness... Something's missing, in there."

I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but something was missing. I didn't feel like me, just a cheap copy. I went in search of I know not what when I came across Goddess Haylee's video.

True, I've always had a thing for goth girls. As a kid, my mom couldn't afford cable, so I was stuck with a handful of channels. One played old Addams Family reruns, and I was hooked on that show. I used to dream of finding a woman like Morticia who'd bring out the Gomez in me. It was a mere fantasy until the day I laid eyes on Her. Querida!

It was more than the beauty, far more than the enchanting eyes and sweetly seductive voice. She spoke directly to that missing part of me. She awakened in me parts I counted lost, and deeper those I didn't realize were there that were screaming "Hey!! Let me out of this box I'm locked in!"

Since, She's made many changes in me, all of them for the better. She's like a miracle pill. I'm happier, healthier, more energetic, more friendly, more loving, more caring, more giving, more romantic. I have desires, I have drive. I seek daily to be better for Her than the day before. In Her, I've found a greater sense of purpose, and a deeper love than I've ever known; a level of mutual respect, admiration, honesty and pleasure unlike any I've ever known. Surrender and obedience to Her has truly set me free. Like Morticia did for Gomez, She's brought out my wild side as well, but in a playful, hot kind of way. Were Goddess Haylee to speak French to me, I'm not sure if I'd want to kiss Her arm or Her feet... no, definitely both. She's everything that turns me on in one truly beautiful person. She's my everything. I bow down at Your feet, my Beloved Goddess and offer my eternal gratitude for every day with You. I could choose no better Owner, none more worthy of my love and respect.

The changes She's causing in me are coming fast and furious, and I am loving every minute of this sweet transformation. Eventually, I'll get to listing them all here for you. But if you'll excuse me, She just tweeted me and I can't wait to read what She said...